Emotional Focused Therapy

Do you feel lonely in your relationship?
Have you felt lost without knowing how to connect with your partner?
Is it difficult for you to express what you need, do you end up getting hurt and feel like resentment is building up?
Does “the spark” seem to have disappeared in your relationship?
Have you been betrayed and feel like it's impossible to trust again?
Did you hurt your spouse and now you don't know how to gain their trust?

You are not the only one! Many couples find it difficult to manage their thoughts and feelings, and many times these difficulties turn into disagreements, conflict, strong arguments, and emotional distance.
This is why I offer Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT, a psychotherapy model that specifically targets emotional and developmental issues to help free your mind and empower your relationship. EFT is typically offered for couples therapy, and many of my couples and marriage counseling focus on this treatment method.

What is EFT?

EFT is a couples therapy methodology that focuses on feelings, communication, emotional bonding, and trust. EFT is used in couples and in the context of family therapy to help people understand the root of their problems based on their needs and hopes for the relationship. Through EFT treatment, clients can learn psychological skills and develop insight into themselves and others, bringing them closer to their personal and relational goals.

EFT is a lot like learning to dance

When our relationship is good, we can dance freely, play games, and try new moves. But when there is conflict, our dance movements become restrictive, limiting and rigid. It's the same dance, the same movements. They are repeated over and over again. EFT is a lot like learning to dance.

Fortunately, it is repeated so frequently and with the same movements, in the same places that we can create a map. We can understand what is happening, create a map, and find a way out of that negative dance. It is very important to understand the emotions behind the steps. We need to recognize the vulnerable emotions that govern those steps, that dance.

If you can change how you view the dance, not be totally caught up in your own experience, resentment or vulnerability, you can recognize mutual vulnerability and change the dance. Now a new healthy and complete dialogue opens. New safer moves are surprisingly possible. They both help each other with their softer emotions and everything feels safer. Simple. But hardly if you are not used to seeing the dance – to being aware of the dance in the moment.

You have to step back and watch the dance or you're both going to end up married to rejection and living in a world of hurt.

EFT teaches you how to change the negative dance

As people go through life, they often face difficulties with themselves and others that cause them to believe that they are simply not good enough or capable enough—that they are not good at dancing at all. They feel unappreciated, worthless, and hopeless, and begin to believe that they are unworthy of being loved or of no use.

EFT is designed to teach you and your partner how to understand your emotional and psychological dance, apply skills and techniques to improve results in your relationship, and add a little rhythm back to your life. We will meet in a safe and confidential place where the goal is to prepare for your emotional dance.

Many of our relationship habits are rooted in childhood experiences of attachment and trust (or lack thereof). As you learn to understand and express your emotions effectively, you will also learn how childhood relationships have influenced your emotional self.

If you or a loved one struggles with expressing emotions, vulnerability, trust, or hurt from past relationships, don't expect things to resolve on their own. I can help you. Contact me today and learn how you can restore your relationship through EFT.

EFT is designed to treat a wide range of problems at all levels of severity – everything from life stressors, such as a breakup, to issues of infidelity, disconnection, and mistrust. Here are some examples of what EFT can help:

Feelings of guilt or inadequacy in your relationship
Wounds that come from childhood
Conflict or argument between the couple
Feeling alone and not knowing how to connect with your partner
Loss of intimacy and trust in relationships
Lack of communication skills
Betrayal or rejection in relationships

EFT is a broad and dynamic treatment method that can be applied to so many different problems. If you are considering emotionally focused therapy for your relationship, feel free to contact me! Asking for help can sometimes be difficult, but I am here to help.

As the name suggests, emotion-focused therapy is based on the system of thoughts and feelings associated with emotional states, reactions and interactions.

EFT shows that our experience of the world is informed by our attachment styles, or the way we tend to relate to others, as well as our beliefs about ourselves. As you begin emotionally focused psychotherapy for your problems, we will spend some time analyzing these fundamental aspects of your emotional self. You'll learn to identify needs for closeness, boundaries, safety, and more as you talk about your experiences in the relationship. This will allow me to better understand how you see the world and where your blind spots may be.

Once this has been identified, we will begin to look at your default emotional processes. For example, do you tend to get angry and argue in conflict, or do you typically withdraw and “lock yourself in your cave”? This will also involve a lot of enhancing your emotional vocabulary, thereby allowing you to more effectively express your thoughts and feelings.

You will also begin to discover how you understand and interpret your partner's actions. For example, when someone suddenly becomes silent, do you see it as defensive and angry, or that you feel uncomfortable or insecure? We will identify useful and unhelpful patterns of interpretation, thus allowing you to more accurately evaluate what is happening in social interactions.

Finally, EFT spends a lot of treatment portraying the reactions and interactions of your thoughts and emotions in relationships. When your spouse says or does certain things, how do you react? And how does your spouse respond in turn? This process uses a fairly formulaic approach to help you gain insight into complex relational dynamics. Over time, you will begin to learn how to effectively have your needs met and improve satisfaction in your relationship.

If you or a loved one is interested in trying or learning more about emotionally focused therapy, let me know! I provide couples therapy and family counseling services for people in the Aurora and Denver Colorado area! To contact me, select contact from the menu bar above.

Sometimes it can be difficult to ask for help. Don't let your fears and sadness continue and prevent you from living a happy and healthy life. Contact me today and learn how I can bring you a place of wellness!

I provide evidence-based psychotherapy for children, couples, and families. I work particularly well with Hispanic/Latino families, as I am able to identify cultural nuances and (literally) speak the language. My treatment is the product of many years of study and experience, and I have helped many people like you!

I am an expert in multiple treatment modalities, with EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprocessing therapy) and EFT (emotionally focused therapy) being some of my specialties. As a Hispanic woman, I understand the effects and challenges of navigating a different culture and system. I would love the opportunity to meet you and hear your story.

If you have experienced pain in relationships, I can help you find the wellness and restoration you deserve. I specialize in helping bilingual couples connect, restore intimacy, and be vulnerable with each other. You may have wounds from childhood or later in life that affect and create havoc in your relationship. You don't have to let your pain and fears continue to overwhelm you. We can do it together! Interested?

Let's work together. Very good! I would love to meet you and know you