Are You Feeling Lonely In Your Relationship?
- Is it difficult to remember the last time you and your partner had fun together?
- Does it seem that your partner doesn’t really appreciate you anymore?
- As you try to support your family and tend to your partner’s needs, do you feel as though no one remembers that you have needs too?
- When you try to communicate with your partner, do you feel criticized or ignored?
- Do you feel disconnected from your partner and unable to express your feelings, fears and hopes?
- Do you wish you could trust your partner to understand, accept and love you for who you are?
Perhaps you and your partner once felt like you were each other’s entire worlds. But now, the daily responsibilities and pressures of life have intruded, eroding your connection. Instead of going on dates, you might be dealing with diapers. Rather than talking about your dreams for the future, you might be arguing about bills or schedules. Perhaps you wonder where the romance and love have gone. You might even fear that your partner is seeking romantic attention from someone else.
As time goes on, you might wonder how all this tension crept into your relationship. All you want is to ask for what you need without all this storminess and separation. And more than anything, you want to feel valued by your partner—to trust that you and your relationship are enough.
Stress And Strain Can Weigh On Any Couple
The relationship issues you’re facing do not mean that your partnership is damaged or doomed. Most couples feel disconnected at one point or another, even after spending years or decades together.
On a first date, partners are usually spending more time flirting and swooning than anticipating a future of hectic careers and household chores. But, the truth is, eventually, all long-term partners will struggle with the dull, stressful realities of routine. It can be difficult to nurture a strong connection when you’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of children, careers and more.
Life’s stresses can also make it more difficult to communicate with your partner in a healthy way. When you don’t feel connected, you also don’t feel as though you can trust one another. That means you’re less likely to openly express your honest feelings. And sometimes, you might be so overwhelmed that you don’t quite know how you really feel.
So, instead of saying, “I need to feel supported and valued,” you might snap about the dirty laundry. Instead of saying that you feel lonely and asking for affection, you might crowd your partner, making them feel trapped. Or, instead of saying you need space, you might shut down and isolate yourself, leaving your partner feeling confused and rejected.
Like everyone else, you are trying to express your needs with the tools you have. You are likely repeating the patterns you observed in your family or upbringing, even if those patterns don’t serve your current situation or relationship. And, like most people, you were never taught the skills for expressing your core needs in healthy, productive ways. That’s not your fault—you can’t know what you never learned.
Thankfully, as an English and Spanish speaking therapist who specializes in relationships, I can help you develop new empathetic and loving ways of relating to your partner.
Bilingual Couples Therapy Can Help You And Your Partner Truly Hear One Another
In recent years, the common issues that couples deal with have been thoroughly researched and explored, leading to highly effective relationship counseling techniques. I am a skilled, trained therapist with 10 years of experience in Emotionally Focused Therapy, an empirically validated approach that helps couples explore cycles of conflict to rediscover their true connection. With help, you can feel heard, recognized and valued, just as you are.
EFT can help you and your partner become aware of the negative patterns that have taken root in your relationship. Understanding where these patterns come from is the first step in deciphering them.
You and your partner have likely become trapped in certain patterns because you don’t know how to effectively express unmet attachment needs. Many people develop certain attachment issues as a child; for example, if you often felt abandoned, you might now crave consistent, reliable signs of affection.
In safe, nonjudgmental sessions, I will help you explore what your unique attachment needs are. If appropriate, I might also draw on EMDR therapy, a highly effective form of trauma treatment that provides healing from the inside out. EMDR can be an effective part of bilingual couples counseling because it helps integrate the past the present. Doing so helps both partners to stop reacting based on old hurts and start responding in a genuine manner. EFT will enable you both to share and empathetically listen to each other’s story.
Overall, my bilingual couples therapy approach aims to help you and your partner relate with greater self-awareness and shared compassion. Our work can help you both reduce stress, deescalate arguments and focus on being more present, open and vulnerable with one another. Together, you can experience and share deep, even difficult, emotions—without fearing that those emotions will spiral into chaos.
As a mother, a professional and a wife, I know what it’s like to face and overcome the challenges we all experience in relationships. As an EFT practitioner, I’ll be here to comfort and guide your through the healing process. With a little bit of time, you’ll develop the deep relational tools you need to create a mutual feeling of safety and support for one another. Your relationship can become a site of rest, healing and peace.
You or your partner may have doubts about couples counseling in Spanish…
I don’t want to talk about our private issues in front of a stranger.
It can be challenging to talk about emotions, especially unpleasant emotions that we hardly want to acknowledge. But, burying our feelings only hurts the connection we can have with others.
Bilingual marriage counseling is a safe, non-judgmental place for you to practice sharing and vulnerability. I am here to offer help and support, and I will never pressure you to do something you are not ready to do. You and your partner will move forward together, at your pace. As you do, I will gently guide you to a brighter, more secure future with one another.
Can’t we deal with our issues on our own? Why do we need bilingual couples therapy?
Like many other couples, perhaps you and your partner have started out with a simple conversation only to suddenly find yourselves in conflict, without really knowing how you got there or how your emotions became so overwhelming.
Most everyone has had this experience at one point or another. That’s why it’s so important to seek the help of a trained professional. A therapist can provide the objective view needed to trace the origins of those seemingly unmanageable emotions. Then, you can understand not only your feelings, but also those of your partner. I can help you lay the foundation for a solid, lasting connection.
Therapy has too much stigma. I don’t want people to think we’re crazy or a bad couple.
Fortunately, times have changed, and people understand more and more that we all need help at certain times in our lives. Seeking help can even indicate that you are healthy enough to notice you need help!
No matter how hopeless things might seem right now, it is possible to rebuild your relationship. Let me help you. Together, we can overcome your challenges and restore the fun, trust and care in your relationship.
Feel Close To Your Partner Again
If you are longing to reconnect with your partner, I invite you to call me at 720 276 9188. I would be happy to meet and discuss my evidence-based approach to couples therapy. I offer marriage counseling in Spanish and English.