Infidelity remarkably affects couple relationships, being one of the first causes of divorce. It also produces strong emotional reactions, causing not only anxiety, but also depression. However, not all couples in which an infidelity occurs end up separating, some maintain and even improve their relationship, although it is possible that before this happens they need to go to couple’s therapy.

What is infidelity?

Infidelity can be defined as a romantic, sexual or emotional relationship that breaks the commitment of exclusivity in relationships.  However, not many couples define what is for them to be unfaithful, but are given by simple assumptions, that is to say, social customs, family assumptions, traditions, among others.

This is why it is possible that something is considered an infidelity on the part of the betrayed but, not for those who have been unfaithful. An example is the woman who may consider her partner viewing pornography as being unfaithful, behavior that is possible for the man to observe with total normality; This is the main reason why all couples should establish which behaviors may be considered infidelity.

Some reasons your partner is unfaithful

These are some of the reasons that infidelity occurs in couples’ relationships:

  • When one in the couple does not give enough, this is one of the main reasons why in the couple there is infidelity, in this case one of the two considers that their partner is not giving enough love, attention or time they think appropriate.
  • Believe that love disappeared, this concept is perceived thus by who has been unfaithful, because the sexual and romantic relations are not as intense as before, however, the reality is that in stable couples as time passes the love is changing and transform in confidence and intimacy.
  • By the existence of an emotional emptiness, that is, that one of the members of the couple considers that the relationship is unsatisfactory, reason why, sooner or later one of the two ends up being unfaithful, in order to use sex with another person to fill that Emotional emptiness.
  • One of the two feels unsafe, the infidel tends to feel inferior in terms of the conditions regarding his partner, i.e. older or with less money to cite an example, making use of infidelity as an alternative to reaffirm his Value in the Love Field or to raise your self-esteem and feel desirable.

Main effects of infidelity in partner relationships

The following are some of the effects of infidelity in terms of behaviors once the betrayed in the couple discovers, effects that in case of continuing with the couple should try to improve in couple’s psychotherapy:

  • Completely change the perception that the couple had about the infidelity and their relationship, not only break their confidence in this relationship, but also prevents him from feeling confident with another person in the future.
  • It is possible that the betrayed react aggressively, generating violence towards the third person involved or towards the couple, the most common is to give the immediate separation as a way to avoid the suffering caused.
  • Another of the effects is usually insecurity by trying to make sure that the relationship with the third person is really over, the betrayed tends to become obsessive about this issue, giving rise to many conflicts of couple.
  • Emotionally the suffering is enormous, because there are feelings of anger, the betrayed feels ridiculous, usually depressed and even suffer from anxiety, just because they have the feeling of having been the victim of someone who loved, moreover, often experience difficulty sleeping, irritability, hypervigilance, exaggerated response to fears, trauma, stress, in short, a myriad of signs that are also associated with post-traumatic stress.

It is necessary to emphasize that many relationships suffer these effects, however, they tend to go ahead with the help of therapy and consolidate a much better relationship than the one they already had.