How do I get my child to change his behavior?

We have been asking the wrong question. Ask the wrong question and you will get the wrong answer. Children are emotional beings. They are deeply emotional and spiritual creatures that we have somehow come to view as "little rational and logical thinking adults."

The question we need to start asking ourselves is "what is driving my child's behavior?"

When we begin to ask this question, we switch our focus to that which is ta the core of our children's negative behavior. At this core is a state of fear, pain and/or overwhelm that comes from a child being outside of his window of stress tolerance. Children do not act out from a conscious place is goes much deeper than this. Parenting through power and authority over our children comes from fear and ultimately undermines a child's ability to trust and relate, both themselves and others. Conversly, parenting through unconditional love and relationship equips our children to develop their own internal sense of control and empowers them to enter the world with a strong sense of self, well-developed love for self, and an ability to relate to others through tolerance patience and understanding. It simply starts by asking the right question. "What is driving my child's behavior."

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