Do you feel upset, angry often? Do you isolate yourself from others? Do you feel that you are not as good as others? Do you have nightmares or have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep? Have difficult things happened in your life? ? Do you tend to keep things inside and not tell them to anyone? Do you use drugs or alcohol, or do you do things to escape uncomfortable feelings? Do not you do it to gain acceptance from your friends because you are not connected to others, or do not you feel that you are as good as others?
Believe it or not many people feel that way, including children and adolescents and there is help for all of us! There is a way to find hope and find our good feelings again.
It’s great that you’re interested in finding what can help you feel better. Let’s start by talking about what happens when we go through difficult things in our lives:
When we have bad or negative events in our lives such as abuse, intimidation or bullying, divorce, accidents, loss and death of a loved one, violence in the home, among others, the brain creates “files” that contain all the feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations related to this event. When we have events that are not “too bad”, the brain has the ability to work and organize these files before saving them and enclosing them in the form of memories.
What is stored has been resolved and organized in such a way that negative things have been let go, allowing us to keep things good and learn from this experience. However, when the event is very difficult and traumatic or has occurred several times, these files can overload the brain and it can not do the job of sorting things out and putting them in order. As a result, these files are a mess, in pieces that can not be put together and organized by the brain. Different events of life that we call “triggers” can open these files, it can be a classmate who makes fun of us, or being ignored by our partner, not getting what we ask for and many more, when the files are opened , we begin to have confused feelings.
EMDR helps the brain organize these files and put all the pieces together like a puzzle. And when the archives are finally organized, the triggers of everyday life will not have the power to make us feel as we did in the past when bad and traumatic things happened to us. We no longer have to experience sadness, or shame, we no longer have to feel like we are worthless, and we no longer have to behave in an explosive, aggressive way, or in a way that we regret later.
EMDR is not a “magic” cure. It takes a little work, but it works and it’s worth it. Regaining our happiness and the ability to love and receive love is worthy of all our efforts … do not you think?
(This is an excerpt from Ana’s book: EMDR Therapy and Approaches with Children: Complex Trauma, Attachment, and Dissociation)